I understand it may feel great to be in control and the fact is that every day we need some kind of ”controlling” to maintain a good state of mind so you can avoid energy loss and continue your way towards your goals. Positive control is making sure you get on the right track for example each morning by drinking your green juices, exercise or execute another healthy and great morning routine.
But it’s true that you can actually reach a point when too much control over your life turns tasks into musts and your whole life start to feel more like a duty, rather than actually enjoying and living life. Too much control can cause harm to your well-being, your relationships and your career. So the question is, what is too much control?
Of course it is a very personal and individual answer to the question, but generally when you plan every little step in your agenda to work out in a specific way, can’t write an email that isn’t perfect, feel scared of not knowing every single step forward or you wonder yourself if you are controlling your life more than living it, you have already exceeded this point.
The reason why so many people find it tempting to control their environment or themselves is because they have a need for certainty. ”If just everything in my life stays secure I will avoid any suffering, mistakes of failure.” The truth is, this is just an illusion and most times it makes the person feel dissatisfied with basically everything in life.
Certainty is a very powerful human need and when this need becomes so big for a person, he/she will choose to look for ways to make sure everything runs smoothly or perfectly over growth and uncertainty. This is a very effective way to restrict your chances to grow and makes you feel very critical about everything.
It’s crucial to learn to let go of excessive control in order to reach your goals and fulfilment in life.
Imagine what you could do when you stop worrying about what others think all the time and be happy about what you do daily? Maybe your sleep would improve? Many people can recognise themselves as being a people pleaser trying to make others happy all the time leaving them feeling empty inside. When you release the need of control to make everyone happy you help yourself feeling more proud of your own achievements and strong in what you do.
When you give up the idea of that everything has to be perfect you allow yourself to be more time efficient and create less worry in your life. Say goodbye to writing that perfect email, cook the perfect meal or create the perfect project. Instead, see it as a learning journey where every step is a progress. Imagine what you could do with your extra time when you do this?
When you let go of the control to only accept the best and securing everything around you (health, wealth, relationships) you will end up with less stress and fewer things on your mind. You will also help your relationships to get better as you are no longer trying to control them to be in a certain way. This will help you to start to enjoy life more and learn to cope with the situation at hand.
Ready to let go of control but need help? Let me guide you with the help of effective strategies. I am a certified NLP Trainer working with one-on-one clients to help them cope with similar matters to reach fulfilment in life. Send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org to request more information about my coaching program.