You are so beautiful. You are so funny. You are so clever. You are much much more than enough. And you know what, you just deserve the best. You do.
As my favorite designer (the one who also designed my wedding dress), Frida Jonsvens use to say: ”If someone says you are too much - maybe it is them who are to little”
Read that as many times as you need and just feel the weight of these words. It is so true, if someone doesn’t respect you, they don’t deserve your respect. If someone isn’t interested, they don’t deserve your interest. If someone is making you feel smaller, remember that it’s actually not about you but about themselves.
The truth is that the relationship, the respect and the love you have for yourself makes up your self worth. It makes up the view you have on yourself and how you see yourself is exactly how others will see you too. Think of it like a mirror. Defining yourself as the warrior, queen, master, star and loving yourself (your strengths and your weaknesses) are the greatest way to navigate to what you want in a partner. Way too often we search the partners that will give us what we think we cannot give to ourselves, we get someone who fits into that empty hole because we are too scared of looking at it, too scared taking care and growing self love.
Every time I am facing something that I don’t like with myself I got a choice, to take care of it myself with the support from my partner or expecting him to take care of it. When I am lazy or too scared I choose number two … it always plays out the same way. I’m getting irritated or frustrated of my husband not giving me the confirmation that I am actually suppose to give myself. But why I love him so much is partly because he always stand strong and never gives the confirmation to me when he knows I need to show up for myself. Of course he gives me all the love and support in the world, but when it comes to self growth he always supports me to show up for myself in the first place. It’s incredible hard at times not getting that phrase or word that I want so much, but every time I thank him. Supporting me to grow is far greater than providing the easy solution, which would be more convenient and simple. But he doesn’t and because of that he helps me show up and that allows me to be the person I am meant to. My husband doesn’t see me as weak, he see’s me as a woman who stand up for herself. Who is grounded and strong in who she is. A woman who continue to work in the areas she feels best and who knows what she wants. A woman who doesn’t give up on herself or on him and for that I have his respect, deep love and commitment to us.
So what I want to say with this rather cheesy end is ;) that self worth is crucial and built by self love! With that it’s possible to navigate to what you want and through meaningful conversations (on phone, aaaaaand over a longer time) you can build a deep relationship!